"Space" Racism

In the early years of her life Jesse Lee Kercheval lived a very sheltered life, she moved to Cocoa florida from Washington D.C. She lived in a small community in Cocoa and looked at the world through very idealistic eyes. Durring the summer when she was fifteen, she went to a three week YMCA camp. There she see's and hears fist hand the racist ideals that were all over at that time. Not only that, looking back on her life she saw instances where she saw blacks being treated differently and didn't understand why. She had "seen a sign posted in a resturant window" that said "Whites Only" (221). She hadn't understood why and had questioned her mother about it. She recalled that her mother explained what it meant, seeming to be embarrised by Jesse's question and clearly in dissagreement with the sign. Yet after Jesse asked her "But if we won't let them come in our resturants, then they might no let us go in theirs" (222). To young Jesse this seemed obvious. She saw that there was no difference what color your skin was, a resturant was a resturant, no matter who owned it. If only more people could have viewed the world the way she did.
At camp, we see that her ideals have changed slightly, nothing is as simple as she thought it was when she was young. She was friends with black kids at camp it made no difference to her what the color of their skin was, in fact one of her two best friends at camp was a black girl named Celia. There were also two black girls at the camp on scolarships, but they kept to themselves and really had no friends beside each other. Celia didn't like them at all, and when Jesse questioned her she said "they just tell everybody in the world that black people are no better than trash, no better than poor ignorant trash" (224). She thought that because they were on scolarship and had secondhand swimsuits they were making her, a fellow black person, look bad. She strongly believed that no one had to be poor, they just had to work hard. She seemed dissapoined in other black people, like they were being lazy. Yet Jesse, doesn't understand she even says "I guess I thought blacks were better than us" (229). She knew that white people discriminated against black people but she didn't realize that it went the other way. That black people, thought the same thoughts about white people or some against other black people. It just goes to show how she looked down on white people for being racist, how she believed that everyone was the same. Skin color doesn't matter.

"Space" Changing Ideas

As I continue to read about the life of Jesse Lee Kercheval I can not help but be saddened by the loss of her innocence and of her idealistic views. We begin to see a very new Jesse from the one that we had originally gotten to know. She goes from being a young rambunctious girl, to a pre-teen who is forced to face things that someone at her age should not have to deal with. This change became extremely apparent to me when she began to talk about the death of neighbor hood pets and the way they coincided with how life ended up turning out for their owners. It was an extremely gloomy observation for such a young girl to even notice, let alone really think about. Speaking about Arrow, the neighbor’s dog, Jesse says "looking back, I can't help feeling that Arrow's death foreshadowed David's sisters, the first tragedy preparing the way for the next" (157). First the Mizes dog died, he was running full tilt and ran directly into a pole and immediately died. Then only a few years later, the Mizes daughter was involved in a one-man car crash and died instantly. Even now I'm not sure I would have even considered this connection, this intricate weaving of fate. Yet at barely twelve years old, Jesse stated it as simply a harsh fact about life. Then, after her two dogs got in a horrible fight, sending one to the emergency room, Jesse talks about the deeper implications of her parent’s decisions give up one of the dogs. To her family the dogs were part of the family, she wondered what hidden meaning this event could have saying "If Gretel was my mother's four-legged daughter, what did it mean that she was willing to give her away in the name of harmony and practicality?" (159). Jesse considered the dog, Gretel to be the dog version of her, so she actually wondered if, because her parents were willing to give gretel away, if they would also do the same with her. If she just became too much to handle they could just hand her away because it was the easiest thing to do. This really opened my mind to how much the family and even neighborhood you grow up in affects essentially how you’re mind works and what you believe.
Not only did her beliefs and feeling about her family change, her past idealistic views began to change to accept what was, rather than trying to change it. When she was young she dreamed of being an astronaut and saw no reason why she could not accomplish this, after all she was just as capable as any boy was. However, her enthusiasm for the subject decreases and she begins to accept the sexist views of society saying "A year ago, it had seemed impossibly unfair that women couldn't be astronauts, real astronauts. Now I was only bummed that it meant I couldn't blast off in the Maltezo's Airstream and spend ten days nearly alone in "space" with Paul" (166). He focus begins to shift from her hopes and aspirations of the future to what is going on right at the moment. She begins to be interested in boys and not so much about changing society for the better. This seemed ironic to me, because I would think that as one grows up and become more educated they would seek to further themselves and the world. Yet it seems in Jesse's case anyways that as one grows up, they lose their passion, and optimism that they can do anything about it. Her family life continues to collapse and she really starts to make it apparent. She has accepted it, though she doesn't like what has happened she feels powerless to change it. When talking about the prospect of going home after swim practice she says "I hated the idea of being in the house with only Bertha, Lucky, and my drugged mother" (177). In the past we saw her overlooking her mother’s problems, but here really for the first time we see her acknowledge them. She no longer insists on looking at the good side of everything and ignoring the bad. She sees what is there and accepts it, feeling small and hopeless; there is nothing she can do so why bother. It is so sad that such a young girl so full of ideas, optimism, and spunk, is growing up to just embrace the way things are, wither she likes them or not.

"Space" - Growing Up

In this section of Space a memoir, Jesse Lee continues through the fourth grade, still not wanting to go to do school or do homework, just content spending her time playing outside with her best friend Marly. However, she reveals what we would considered very old-fashioned ethical beliefs, that would even be considered racist and sexist. Lee explains how in her fourth grade class the children are split into different "supposedly like-minded groups," which were all supposed to be equal but as she explains it is clear that her group is the "advanced" section of students. She makes a harsh observation of the way the groups are formed saying "You don't have to be Advanced to figure out how the system really wored. Almost all the black and poor kids were in Basic and seeed to spend most of their school days helping the janitor." This seems like a harsh analysis of the school system however, coming from a fourth grader is simley an innocent observation. Even at a young age she recognized that other poople were getting diferent treatment because of their skin color or social standing. She doesn't seem to understand really why this is but also doesn't seem to be terribly bother by it, that was just how things were in her mind. Today, though, this is despicable, and rightly so, why should kids be grouped by the ammount of money their families have or by what ethnicity they are. The SHOULD be grouped however into "like-minded groups" because people who are at roughly the same level will be easier to teach as a group than kids who are at all different stages of learning. However this does not make one group "better" than another.
Lee also makes a comment about the occupations of women vs. the occupations of men. Refering first to her and her classmates specifically and then women in general she says "We were too busy talking, too busy with our bodies to keep up with science. No wonder women weren't the first ones on their way to th moon". I would concider this a very sexist comment except for the fact that it is coming from a fourth grade girl, reflecting on the connection between how her and her classmates on and the fact that there aren't many female astraunats. I don't think that she is saying that women couldnt have been the first people on the moon, after all she herlself want to be an astraunaut when she grows up. I think that she is almost expressing dissapointment at women for getting distracted and not reacing their full potential. In her memoir this is really the first section where we see Jesse as more than an innocent and ignorent child. It is clear that even though all she really wants to do is have fun, and has no interest in school, she is by no means uninteligent and has an observation based understaning of the world.

On the Waterfront

In the film On the Waterfront there are three main social groups involved. There are the mob members, the dock workers, and the cops. To the mob bosses, any worker who speaks out agains what the mob is doing is a traitor or a "stool pigeon." They believe that the workers owe them loyalty, after all they are the ones who proviede them with work and money so that they can provide for themselves and their families. Therefore exposing their secrets and revealing what they have done is a staunch betrayal. The bosses constantly push the workers around and make them do things they don't want to do but the workers are just suposed to take it because they "owe the mob" for everything that they have. The workers hate the way the mob runs the docks and they despise how they are treated but they are to affraid of the consequences they would face if they revealed the truth about the mob activity. However, at the same time they feel a certain loyalty to their fellow workers and even to the mob bosses because they have all leaned on each other and provided for each other for a long time. After Terry stands up against the mob, all the men who used to be his friends refuse to talk to him, they don't want the mob bosses to think that they are associated with Terry. However, after a time they come around and realize that all their loyalty should be to Terry and their fellow workers NOT to the corrupt mob. Meanwhile the cops are just trying to find out the truth about the mob which, until Terry testifies, is extremely difficult because noone will betray the mob and be an "infomant on criminal activity."
I believe that what Terry did, which was reveal what the mob had done, was the right thing to do. He ended up losing his brother and was beat almost to the point of death because of it but in the end it bennefited all the dock members and made the mob pay for the years of abuse they had inflicted on the workers. I believe that when you see any sort of injustice it is your duty to speak out against it. When people in power are taking advantage of the little people, if all the little people would stand up and unite against the people in power they would be able to overcome them. But often everyone is to afraid of the consequences to stand up and do anything so they let the unjust behavior continues. However if you stand up and make a stand, then others will be able to follow suit and you can change the world for the better. On the same note though, it is not ok to stank up against society or be "a tattle tale" if you are doing it only for your own good. The fundamental differents between a "stool pigeon" and an "informant on criminal activity" is that a "stool pigeon" is one who betrays their friends for their own good while an "informant on criminal activity" stands up against what they believe is wrong for the good of the society as a whole.

Society vs. Family in All My Sons

In All My Sons, we see a stark change in Joe Keller. In the beginning he is portrayed as a relaxed, easy going man who plays with the neighborhood children and lovingly teases his family. However, as the play continues, Keller becomes anxious and defensive when anyone mentions the death of Larry or the cracked cylinder heads. Keller snaps on Ann when she suggests that it could be possible that Larry died as a result of the cracked cylinder heads. He says "Those cylinder heads went into P-40's only. What's the matter with you? You know Larry never flew a P-40"(32). He seems to be convincing himself more than he is concerned with convincing Ann, but never the less, he flies off the handle on Ann who he practically raised. When we find out that it was indeed Keller and not Ann's father who decided to patch up the cylinders, it becomes clear why he was so quick to stand up for Steve. Yet when he confesses to Chris, he continues to justify what he did, saying "Chris...Chris, I did it for you, it was a chance and I took it for you. I'm sixty-one years old, when would I have another chance to make something for you"(70). Keller looked at the situation as having two possible outcomes. Either he could take responsibility for his actions and suffer the consequences, or he could put the blame on Steve and pretend that he did nothing wrong. He justifies the decision he made to put faulty supplies in the hands of young men who would depend on them for their lives, because he knew that if he threw them all away and started over, the business would not be able to make it back from the lack of income. Also because he knew that the government would not be happy that he was behind in supplies that they badly needed. He wanted to be able to make something for his son to take over when he returned from the war, so he sacrificed others lives for his family's welfare.

I strongly disagree with the decision that he made. It is one thing to want to provide for your family and try to give them a better life then you had, but it is another to put the lives of others in jeopardy in the process. Plus, not only did he kill the men flying in the 21 planes, he also essentially ended Steve's life by naming him as the one responsible for trying to patch up the cracked cylinders. There may be circumstances when it is ok, or best to put ones family before society but this definitely was not one of them. When it becomes a question of money and comfort, versus life, in my opinion life always wins. By choosing to put others in danger so that your family will be wealthy, you are basically saying that your family's comfort is more important than someones life. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the common good, it may not be easy but in the long run it will pay off, if not for you than for your children and your childrens children. You will never be looked on highly for your chances for personal gain before the welfare of others, but you will forever be looked onto with respect for commiting a selfless act for another.

"Space" - The move

As "Space" a Memoir of Jesse Lee continues, we see Jesse Lee's family slowly growing apart, as a result of the families’ recent move to Cocoa Florida from Washington D.C. At the age of 10 Jesse has an open, idealistic mind that welcomes the new opportunities and exciting adventures she believes the move will bring. She has a fascination with space and she can't wait to see a live shuttle launch from her own front yard. Her anticipation of the move and her disappointment that time seems to be against them is shown, "we missed the Surveyor 1 launch, then four days later, Gemini 9. We could have been right there." Jesse is speaking to her sister Carol who was two years older and, like her mother, was not terribly enthusiastic about moving to a hot new state. Whereas Jesse could not wait to be done with school to saying "when I looked at my history lesson, the world swam in incomprehensible rows over the page, like I was still staring at the ocean's waves." This not only shows her impatience but also that there really wasn't anything important that she felt like she was leaving behind and would miss. We see the optimistic young mind of a girl who, instead of looking at the negatives looks at the positives, seeing Florida in a very idealistic way. We could all learn a lesson from Jesse Lee, that no matter what situation we are forced into, if instead of dwelling on the unfortunate situation, we see it as a new opportunity, a new adventure, our lives could be much happier.

In sharp contrast to Jesse, we see her sister and especially her mother; look at their approaching move with a sense of impending doom. Though Jesse seems oblivious to the depth of her mothers sadness and irritation at having to move, we see it clearly when her friend comes over to say goodbye and says " think about it Mary, it's not too late to change your mind." She then responds saying "the girls, besides, my furniture is already there." Though Jesse at such a young age dismisses it as nothing, we can see that the move was very hard on Mary and she had even considered leaving her husband so she would not have to uproot and move across the country. Only continuing to verify the idea throughout the memoir that the relationship between Jesse's parents is anything but close. Her father goes to work everyday but her mother stays home drinking, smoking and lying around because there are no jobs available in her line of work. Sadly Jesse begins to realize that her mother isn't the same person that she was when they lived in Washington. She seems to have given up, but on what we are not sure. Carol, who is only two years older than Jesse, seems to have taken on the motherly role or caring for both Jesse and her mother. We see this especially when Jesse says to her mother, after cutting her foot because she was running barefoot which her "mother" told her not to, "Carol's going to kill me." Then "my mother nodded, as if now we both understood...we sat there a minute more, like we were kids hiding out." It is a sad realization that 12year old Carol is trying to play the mother to keep her family together by trying to prevent anything from going wrong. It is becoming clear as the book goes on that the family situation is deteriorating and Carol feels responsible for holding it together, while Jesse’s young mind fails to see the signs. As I read I can't help but wish we were all still like Jesse, viewing every day as a new and exciting adventure instead of a dreaded event that can't be avoided.

"Space"

For my second quarter outside reading I am reading "Space," a memoir by Jesse Lee Kercheval. In the prologue we are given an idea of what Jesse's life was like at the time she wrote the book and we are given a glimpse of her life through a brief explanation of why she had written the memoir and we get an idea about what roles her different family members played in her life. She starts the process of writing the memoir by having her sister send her some family pictures. We can tell that up until she decided to write it that she was more than happy to put the past in the past, forgetting about any childhood trouble. As she explains the pictures we are continually given the idea that her mother was not really where she wanted to be, she seemed distracted in all the pictures, like she was stuck. Before you even start the official book, you are prepared for a very emotionally detached family.

Jesse was a child during the time of the vietnam and where she begins her memoir she is ten years old, her sister Carol is 12, and they are just beginning to move from Washington D.C. to Florida. She is young and ready for new experiences, wile her mother and sister are less willing to accept the change, all so her dad can switch jobs. She explains how her mother and her mothers mother grew up in families where emotions were not public affair and even the diner table is public. The only really private place is your head, and if at only 10 years old Jesse would begin to show to much emotion her mother would seemingly drift away until she stopped. This is a continuing pattern in the book, the dialogue is very cold, straight to the point with no person feelings clouding it. Even though both her parents had jobs it is evident that the male was considered the bread winner and ultimately the head of the family.