As the memoir continues, it is becoming increasingly evident that jealousy is an underlying theme that provides for emotional tension between many of the people in Blackburn's life. Her mother seems to express the most irrational jealousy, she was even jealous of the attention her new born daughter was getting which caused her to resent her daughter for most of her life (44). She was also jealous of her husbands relationship with a man named Francis saying "Francis was her childhood friend and he [her husband] had no right to steal him away" (57). It is very evident that the problem was not her husband hanging out with Francis, but about her own insecurity. She constantly wanted to be the center of attention, instantly despising anyone who took that attention (especially her husbands attention) away from her. At first I couldn't understand this, how could a mother be jealous of her own daughter? But as the memoir continued and I learned more about her childhood, I began to understand.
Growing up, Julia Blackburn's mother had one sister who was two years older. She was always the favorite of the family, everything seemed to start to fall apart after Rosalie (Julia's mother) was born. Julia bluntly said that "Their father loved Boonie and he didn't love Tuggie" (73). Tuggie was Rosalie's nickname and Boonie was her sister Vivienne's nickname. I can't even imagine how a father could actually truly not love his daughter, but evidently he did. He even went to far as to encourage her sister to beat her, often joining in the abuse himself. Rosalie's mother's feelings were not much different saying "She made it clear right from the start that she didn't like her second child, not one bit" (74). Rosalie clearly received no love or affection as a child, being literally hated by bother her parents and being constantly abused, ridiculed and criticized. From this it is easy to see how she ended up with such low self esteem and a need to be in the center of attention. It is also somewhat ironic that it was her sister, who was always the much favored suicide they ended up committing suicide.
Blackburn, Julia. The Three of Us: A Family Story. New York: Pantheon Books, 2008.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
"The Three of Us"
Posted by Callan B. at 9:08 PM
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3 comments:
I believe that it wasn't due to her childhood, based on what you told me of her childhood that caused her to want to get so much attention from people. If her childhood was filled with hate and scorn and how her parents turned attention away from her, then why does she want to be the center of attention now? It is just a thought to think about but her jealousy seems to come from another source.
You make an interesting point. It causes me to realize that sometimes, one may not be acting our of jealousy, but rather because of their own insecurities. It helps me understand why one may feel the need to take such actions that make them appear as a jealous person.
I agree with Callan. Most children who are neglected in childhod strive for the attention that every kid needs. Julia is doing just this. There have been many scientific studies that test how kids react when they are deprived of attention, some did just pull away from the world, but most reached out even more.
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